


Han Jisung in his entirety

by mystayn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: All About Han, Also kind of Fluff, Chan is an observant leader, Han being Jisung, How Do I Tag, How many is too may, Jisung's soft side, Maybe angst, Nothing romantic - Freeform, OT9 - Freeform, The members' thoughts, They care for each other sm :'(, Vulnerable Han Jisung, jisung - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 01:03:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17091134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystayn/pseuds/mystayn
Summary: A hidden side of Han Jisung (?)





	Han Jisung in his entirety

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't really an imagine, just the thoughts of various members. Han Jisung-centric.

It didn't happen in a day. Nor does he ever admit it. But it was there. The way he closed off when all the members were just being loud and rowdy, being themselves, and he'd suddenly be quiet for a handful of seconds. As if something inside him had shut off, the Jisung that was the life of the party suddenly disappeared into the folds of another part of him that was little known. Chan knew because, well, he’s Chan. He takes it upon himself to constantly, quietly, observe the members, make sure they were okay. And maybe Felix knew because he'd spent days not fully understanding what was being said by these hyperactive boys around him, relying on every facial expression, every reaction, of the others to gauge what was being said and Jisung being the centre of most of it meant that Felix spent a lot of time trying to understand his jokes, to a point where he could almost predict the timing. But even Felix couldn't predict exactly when Jisung would suddenly retract into himself, as if he suddenly took a plunge into the depths of himself, trying to muster up enough life to be the Jisung everyone knew so well.

Changbin notices that side of Jisung but in other moments. Sitting across the table, watching Jisung silently mouth words, testing their flow as he scribbles possible lyrics haphazardly all over the page of a worn out diary, unaware of Changbin's eyes resting on him. Changbin catches the rare distant looks in Jisung's eyes as if he'd lost the thread of what he was thinking and now floated a million thoughts away, the pen held limply in one hand, the music blasting from his earphones, wanting to be heard but in vain. And Changbin notices the words at the back of the diary, a series of scribbles he's never heard uttered by younger boy's mouth before but when he reads it, he can tell that this is Jisung in his most vulnerable state, so he stops reading and slowly slides the diary away, closer to the side of the sleeping boy who was seemingly beyond his years in his mind but just right in his jokes and tomfoolery, it seemed to Changbin.

Woojin hears it from Chan, to be absolutely honest. Woojin is the one who calms Chan down, he tells him that it's normal and Jisung is okay. Everyone needs mental space, everyone needs to give in to the silence sometimes and it's okay to want to be in one's own shell sometimes, Jisung more than others, Jisung being Jisung, a person that's not only in the public eye but also just out there. Chan makes Woojin promise to pay a little extra attention to Jisung in the following weeks, something Woojin easily agrees to because he was already planning on it, it never hurts to be a little extra cautious. Unbeknownst to him, Seungmin was doing exactly the same.

Hyunjin and Jeongin notice the surprising maturity and the quiet way in which Jisung takes care of them. How rapidly he diverts attention when another member isn't feeling their best self, how willingly he gives up a jacket and how silently he pulls the blanket a tad bit higher over the other boys’ shoulders, when he returns from yet another late night of producing, just to pick up a small blanket down from his bed and sit in the balcony, alone in the darkness when even the moon had decided to call it a night. Hyunjin wonders what he thinks about so deeply, and why he has to be so alone to do it. Hyunjin sometimes can't believe that they're the same age. In the neighbouring bed, Jeongin lays in dark, curious and worried about the same boy. That’s when he feels younger, not just because of the age gap, but because it seems as if the older boy is chased by memories and thoughts he’ll never truly be able to fathom. And that makes Jeongin want to protect Jisung, protect him from whatever seems to haunt him during the hours when even the clock in the hallway seems to sleep.

Minho is the one that notices the slight movements, invisible to everyone but him. Maybe even unnoticed by Jisung himself, who probably does it without knowing. But Minho feels Jisung’s leg thrown over his, sitting on the couch with more than enough space for both of them, he sees how Jisung turns a slight nudge into a hug and the way Jisung's head cosies up to the arm slung around his neck, like a timid cat afraid of losing the nonchalant display of affection. 

And Jisung? All he feels sometimes is pure exhaustion. He feels tired and he reassures himself that this is okay. No one would believe him but being around people so much of the time tired him out and so he half-subconsciously stole moments for himself. A second here, a second there. No one seemed to notice but he had caught the older ones glance at him a fraction of a second too long sometimes. But that's alright, he was sure they'd get it. No matter how drained he felt, he could recharge his battery his own ways. So he wrote, he wrote lyrics after lyrics and he wrote his thoughts. Some thoughts, he converted into lyrics while some will never experience the magic of being tied to rhythm and bass. Some lyrics he used, some he saved while the rest would probably never see the light of day. That's okay, he thought. And it was, his diary was just like him. Busy, messy, absolutely filled to the brim with the spark so unique to Jisung, with so many thoughts and words that would bring light to the world, and just as many that would stay hidden in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> lowkey went emo hours, yes.  
> (edit: holler at me on twt @skzmarks , i appreciate even a little 'I read it!')


End file.
